Facing Weltschmerz: When Your Law Career Dream Meets Reality

There aren't many things more challenging than starting a career in law - especially a career in litigation. Apart from needing to establish a paying client base and concealing the fact that most of the time you have no idea what you're doing, one of the biggest obstacles is coming to terms with the feeling of 'weltschmerz'.

The term 'weltschmerz' was coined by the German author Jean Paul in 1827 - long before a career in litigation would even begin to resemble what we have today. 'Weltschmerz' describes the feeling experienced by an individual who believes that reality can never satisfy the expectations of the mind. In other words, it captures the difference between the actual life you are leading and the theoretical life you had imagined. In the life of a litigation attorney, it highlights the gap between what you experience on a day-to-day basis and the idea of a career in law that was sold to you on television, at university, or even in storybooks.

This feeling can strike at any stage of your career. Some encounter it during their articles. For others, the first year of their career (after being admitted as attorneys) is the absolute best time. Then, in year two, comes the classic 'sophomore slump'. The truly unfortunate ones face it ten years into their career when they wake up one day with the realization that "this is it". Enter weltschmerz. Whenever it strikes, like a spiritual awakening of sorts, you can't unsee the vast discrepancy that has now become your life. It is not unusual to start questioning why on earth we do this to ourselves.

And why do we? I'm not ashamed to admit that I've pondered this question in my mind on numerous occasions (and so have many other attorneys I know). Is it our undeniable arrogance (that our spouses can attest to)? Is it a genuine saint-like drive to help people? Is it the money (which I sincerely hope it isn't because that would never be enough)? Are we so stubborn that we simply refuse to give up? Or do we honestly still believe in justice, like those impressionable youngsters who started this career? Spoiler: we don't have an answer yet (if that's what you were hoping for). I can, however, tell you this: At the very least, it's a combination of these questions, and I suspect it will differ for every single one of us.

But how do we survive until the day it all becomes clear? How do we safely parachute off the cliff of what we thought this would be and land securely at what this really is? By just doing what needs to be done. By celebrating every victory and learning from every defeat. By building a support base that encourages you to keep trying. Or, by marrying rich.

To the young attorney or candidate attorney reading this (my younger self included): It gets better, I promise it does, but it might get a little worse first. And if, for you, it doesn't get better - there's nothing wrong with having the self-knowledge to know this life is not for you and walking away from it. You don't owe anyone an explanation, but you owe yourself peace (in whatever form that comes).